How to Form a Friendship With Your Neighbors

Between the stay at home orders and our usual on-the-go lifestyle, we rarely take the time to get to know others, even if they are living right next door. 

However, there are a great deal of benefits to forming healthy friendships with your neighbors--they are always conveniently close-by in times of need and can be great support systems. 

If you have recently realized that while you have lived in the same home for years, you don't know the name of a single one of your neighbors--it's time to step out of your comfort zone and turn those strangers into great, possibly lifelong friends.

So let’s go over the benefits of befriending your neighbors then dig into how you can start doing so.

Keeping an eye on your home and family

Perhaps one of most important benefits of getting to know your neighbors is the extra home protection. Because your neighbors know your regular comings and goings, they are more likely to notice if someone is lurking around. 

Many neighbors have thwarted thieves because they were keeping an eye on their friend’s property. Other cases include watching over your house while you’re on vacation and calling the police if something is amiss. Through neighborhood watch, you get an extra set of eyes on your home.

Enriching your social life

A friendly, social neighborhood is more likely to have social events like block parties, potlucks, pool parties, game nights, and more. Friendly relationships with your neighbors enhance your family’s social life and create meaningful relationships. 

A friendly neighborhood dynamic encourages you and your family to get out of the house, have some fun, and meet new people. 

Lending a helping hand

Creating and maintaining a friendly demeanor with your neighbors can come in handy. Whether you need to borrow an ingredient for a recipe you’re trying out or you’ve just run out of dishwashing detergent, your neighbors can save you an impromptu trip to the store. And what comes around, goes around! 

As a friendly neighbor, you’re happy to return the favor when the family next door needs something, as well. Show your appreciation for their giving spirit by gifting a plate of food from the recipe they helped you complete or slipping a thank you card in their mailbox.

Sharing mutual chores and responsibilities

It’s especially beneficial to get to know your neighbors when you both share similar lifestyles. For example, if you both wake up at 7:30am to take your kids to school, you could carpool and switch off every other day. If you water your lawn weekly, you could alternate weeks and water each other’s lawns. If you’re hiring a babysitter on a Friday night, have their kids join and split the cost of the sitter. 

Sharing these types of responsibilities can make both of your lives easier.

Making lifelong friends

If you have children, look for families in your neighborhood with children around the same age. Neighborhood kids can easily become best friends, as play dates are always accessible with a simple knock at the door. 

Organize a neighborhood event so all the kids can meet each other and watch the friendships grow from there. This can give your kids something to do after school, on weekends, and on school breaks. 

Instead of sitting at home and spending all their time indoors, neighborhood friendships can encourage your kids to get outside and stay active.

These all sound great, right? But how do you get to this point with the people you see everyday but have yet to have a conversation with?

Make small-talk over the fence

The only way to start a relationship with your neighbors is to strike up a conversation. Even if you have lived side-by-side and never exchanged more than a smile and a wave, it's never too late to cultivate a friendship. 

The next time you catch your neighbor in their backyard watering their garden, barbequing, or playing with their kids, approach the fence and start a conversation. Even if you only exchange a few pleasantries, it will set the foundation for a friendlier dialogue another time. 

Choose non-controversial topics that you might both have an interest in--such as community events, home and yard maintenance, your children, or pets. 

Avoid discussing local politics right away--polarizing subjects have a way of quickly alienating people if they disagree.

Invite them to gatherings

If you are having a cookout, birthday party, or other celebratory bash, invite your neighbors. An invite to a social event will make your neighbors appreciative that you thought of them, so they are likely to attend. 

Since they may not know any of the other guests, it is important that you spend adequate time engaging them so they feel comfortable. This is a great way to get to know your neighbor better and set the stage for a budding friendship.

Be considerate and helpful

Nothing is more neighborly than coming to the rescue when your neighbor is in a jam. If you are hit with a blizzard and you own a snow blower, offer to clear your neighbor's walk so they don't have to get out there and shovel. If they have an urgent emergency, suggest that you watch their child or dog for a while so they can tend to their personal matters. 

Lend a helping hand if they are outside raking leaves or doing yard work, especially if they are elderly.

Additionally, remember to consider your actions and be gracious--if a stray ball from your children's backyard Wiffle ball game knocks a clay flower pot off of their deck or if your dog chews up the rosebush on their front lawn, make the situation right immediately. 

Also remember to be conscious of your habits to be a good neighbor--keep loud music and late-night parties at a minimum, and maintain your property so it remains neat and clean at all times--no one appreciates living next to a junkyard.

Be the welcome-wagon

When new neighbors move onto the block, make the effort to knock on their door with a platter of freshly-baked cookies and a smile. Since neighborly traditions such as these are so rare in our society of self-involvement, they are likely to be touched by your thoughtfulness and good will. 

Your visit bearing welcoming baked goods will likely initiate an invitation inside, where you can socialize. Ask questions to learn more about your new neighbors, but avoid being too pushy or nosy. Asking them where they are from is appropriate, but inquiring about how much they paid for their home is not.

Borrow something

Don't be afraid to ask your neighbors to use their gardening shears or borrow a cup of sugar for baking--this will break the ice as well as make them feel comfortable requesting a favor in the future. Relying on one another, even for the little things, goes a long way in establishing a sense of community and sharing. 

Of course, don't expect to borrow anything extravagant--asking to use their brand-new riding lawn mower is a bit too presumptuous a request and your brazenness will most likely only annoy and alienate your neighbor.

Spend more time on your front or back porch

Simply being outside your home more often will enable you to socialize with your neighbors. You will make yourself more available and you will have more opportunities to strike up a conversation with your neighbor when they go out or return home. 

Sit on the front porch with a book and a drink, or take your dog and kids out back to play while you grill some burgers or relax on the patio. Just being visible to your neighbors will automatically make you more approachable--the more you see each other outside, the more awkward it will feel NOT to say hello or stop by and chat.